I really need to get into the habit of blogging every day like I once did. I feel better about my life and self when I do. Sort of like working out, which is something I need to start doing again. AH! I think I am going to go to the gym at least 3 times a week after 2nd period and start eating healthy again. As in, I will not be eating much at Alex's...! Oh well. I don't really know what I last blogged about, but I got into UNCC which I am very excited about and also nervous. I only had school 2 days last week because of all the snow, which basically means my Spring Break is gone. Well, not gone, but I lose one day which upsets me. And it actually just starting snowing again. Thankfully it wont stick. I am incredibly tired all the time now. I try to sleep but I toss and turn all night and I rarely can sleep in the day. I find this very annoying.

I really want to start writing again like I used to. I still have the book I started writing on my computer but I never have the time anymore. Musical practice and guitar lessons and being with Alex has taken of the majority of my time. Thats not a bad thing, but I do wish I could keep everything balanced. Balance is such a hard thing to keep when you love so much and want to do so much. From singing to writing, musicals and being with Alex, guitar lessons and constantly having to watch Porter, to worrying about college and grandparents, no wonder I am not sleeping! And its not like I need to set my priorities straight, because these are mine, and these are things I have to do. Once again BALANCE is the key. I really do not know what I feel about going to college. I am scared, but I am excited. I will miss my mom, but half of me thinks that it is best that I leave. I need time to think. What do I really want? Am I doing certain things to please those around me or am I doing these things for myself. Knowing me, its for others. I try not to be selfish. Yes, I fail sometimes, but in my heart I know who I am and I know that I desire to give everything to everyone and save nothing for myself. Which is what I tend to do. No one really notices or prizes it, but I guess thats the price I have to pay. I know I am worth something, but I would rather not be happy just so someone else is in any way. Blah. Writing that just made me really sad.

On to a happier note, I HOPEFULLY will be seeing Dear John tonight. If not with Alex, I shall go alone. I have to find my waterproof mascara...it will be needed if its anything like the book. I started to reread the book today and I am already hooked. Again. It takes nothing for me to become attached to a book or a show these days. Oh, how will I ever survive. The other night, for instance, I had a dream about Gilmore Girls, which I am obsessed with. And when I say obsessed, I mean OBSESSED. Anyway, they had made another season and I WAS IN IT. Of course, that will never happen, but the dream made me happy and sad at the same time. I know people say that quote or line that goes something along the lines of "why sleep when your reality is better than your dreams" but I find that quote...misleading. Because you can always dream up something you will never have and it still makes you happy. Reality isnt just the awake part, reality is all we experience. And we experience dreams nightly.

I find it hard to believe that people believe that line, but hey, its not my place to judge. To each his own.

To each his own. I adore that line. I feel that phrase can just sum of how we can become a perfect society. Utopia. If we would all just say those words and think about what they mean, people would understand. Its about acceptance. Maybe not understanding, but full on acceptance. The thing in this world that people just cannot do. We are stubborn creatures. Do not get me wrong, I am just as stubborn as the next guy, but I try my hardest to accept someone else's opinion. It takes a good person to do that. Someone who wants to have that quality or good character is someone special and good. To each his own. Live by it.

I guess I should stop writing. I will probably go read some more or think. Which everyone comes to me first. Au revoir.